'Flustrated' Trump 'lied like a dog'

By BERRY CRAIG

AFT Local 1360

I’m trying to decide which old-time Kentucky expression works best for last night’s debate.

“Harris smacked him into the middle of next week” and “beat him like a drum” are the two of the few family-friendly ones I know. Most of rest aren’t even PG. But I’ll clean those up. 

I’m leaning toward, “Harris stomped a mudhole in Trump’s butt and stomped it dry again” with “Harris opened up a can of whup-butt on Trump” finishing second.

Harris “flustrated” Trump to the point that “he couldn’t find his butt with 14 hands, “didn’t know his butt from deep center field” and "didn't know whether to excrete or go blind."

Trump “lied like a rug,” “lied like a dog” and “wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him on the butt” or “hit him upside the head.” 

Trump “had a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth” and “let his mouth overload his butt.” He got “madder than the nearsighted snake that fell in love with a garden hose.”

Suggestions are welcome from fellow native Kentuckians.